Book Review: Ten Ways to Find Love ... and how to keep it by Dr Lisa Portolan

I'm probably not the best person to review Ten Ways to Find Love as I've been married for 40 years and the dating scene has changed a lot since I met my husband. However, the "How to Keep It" part may be of interest to those in relationships AND those looking for love. 

Dr Lisa Portolan has a PhD that relates to dating apps and how intimacy is navigated and negotiated through digital landscapes. This makes me think that Lisa is well equipped to write a thought provoking book on love. 

The book is written in two parts with part one being Ten Ways to Find Love.

1. Date like you're on holidays 

2. Turf the little white lies

3. Sharing

4. Kindness

5. Get rid of the shopping list

6. Accept yourself as perfectly flawed

7. Invest in yourself

8. Get beyond the chitchat

9. A delicate balance

10. Positivity

I agreed with Lisa's 10 key headings, they all seemed pretty straightforward. However when she gets into case studies it's all about hook-ups, fakeness online and unrealistic expectations. It's little wonder people can't find a real lasting relationship.

 

Part two is ten ways to keep love. Again with ten key headings.

1. Love as work

2. I choose you

3. Use your words

4. Once upon a time in love

5. Physical touch and passion

6. Create a relationship that's right for you

7. The individual and the team

8. Kindness

9. Breaking the rules

10. Fun

Part two also includes case studies and quotes from people who have been in long term relationships.

 

"Complicating the issue is our consumer culture's fixation on the disposable and the new. When it comes to finding love, many of us become stuck in a cycle of looking for the next, even better relationship. Ironically, while we are on this quest for romantic novelty, we may also be craving long-term partnerships, feeling like failures if we don't achieve them." 

Although I didn't really find anything to connect with in this thought provoking book I think it will be of interest to readers who enjoy self-help books.

 

My rating 3 / 5 ⭐⭐⭐

 

Publisher: Echo Publishing

Publication date: 4th February 2025 

Genre: Non Fiction / Self Help

Pages: 272

RRP: AU$29.99 (paperback)

Source: Courtesy of the publisher